Well Played!

Is this the way you function!?

This is what the Mani Shankar Aiyar, the Minister for Sports, enquired of his Joint secretary. Why? The Minister learnt that an archer, who was promised some money as a prize, was being pushed around for almost 2 years and it was a newspaper article that made him aware of this stupidity. Well Mr. Aiyar has got a part of it right- this is exactly how the ministry functions. And who says that India is bad at sports...have you ever seen the various ministers who run these sports body function. They are bloody good at their game!

India likes to compare itself with China; China won 63 medals in the last Olympics, we got 1. Even at the Asiad level China beats us 6:1 when it comes to making it to the podium. The onus of this mess lies in one simple fact- Indian sports is in the hands of politicians. Where else in the world do old, fat politicians run sports; Sharad Pawar is the head of BCCI, Lalu Prasad, Farooq Abdullah and Arun jaitley run Bihar, J&K and Delhi cricket associations, Priya Ranjan Dasmunshi is the head of Football, VK Malhotra is the archery boss, Suresh Kalmadi is the head of Indian Olympic Committee. These guys don't know their way out of a paper bag when it comes to sports. Why do you think they got a compromise character in a 72-year-old Chandu Borde when what they needed was the polar opposite?

The thing with politicians is that perhaps they don't realize professional coaches have no nationality. They are paid to do their job and that is that. England's football team has a Swedish coach and a South African for cricket. The Chinese have a Japanese swimming coach. India pays a paltry $2000 a month for a coach while China dishes out almost $300,000 a year for experts.

It's not that the government doesn't need to get involved but it cannot rule the life of a sports person. Make stadia, pump in money at grass root level, make sports in school better and get professionals to do the other jobs. But this attitude of noting doing anything and not allowing any one else to do anything isn’t going to change the situation. A recent newspaper article had a great point; if the government can disinvest hotels and other businesses it can also let go of it control over sporting bodies for aren't sports one of the biggest industries today?

Till that happens enjoy the fact that sports persons are thinking like politicians while politicians are becoming good at sports! Otherwise why'd a Tendulkar hide behind a statement like, "I've played for my country with passion for the 17 years..." when asked about his bad form in the last three years!

All the games people play now
Every night and every day now
Never meaning what they say
Never say what they mean
-Inner Circle

Sunny Side Up

Here's another NICE mess you've gotten me into…- Oliver Hardy

Graham Ford has refused to coach Team India and so has John Emburey. Ford perhaps thought that one year was too little a time to get things in order and the fact that he’d work without his support staff could make things tougher; Emburey on the other had now believes that Indians will burn out, they won’t be able to beat Australia and all the blame would end up on the coach. Why the hell was John Emburey considered in the first place is a question that will never be answered. John Emburey should thank a certain Sunil Gavaskar for making people acknowledge that John Emburey still exists. A man with hardly any coaching expertise is called to present his case by Gavaskar to make the selection process look worthwhile. In the aftermath of Ford's rebuttal and Emburey's snub, Gavaskar only commented that they were back to square one.

What is Sunil Gavaskar's problem? He's not happy with anything that he doesn't suggest. He was on the committee that selected Greg Chappell to coach India and he was the first one to piss and moan about Chappell. Dave Whatmore was almost the short-listed and was willing to work under any conditions but Mr. Gavaskar wasn't too happy with an Aussie. If Gavaskar's word is the end all when it comes to Indian cricket why does he wait till the last moment to open his mouth? The reasons the board gave were as stupid as Gavaskar's- Dave Whatmore campaigned too hard for the post! These people started sending feelers to Whatmore in West Indies during the world Cup and then later had meetings with him in Bangladesh while the two teams were playing a test match and then they say he campaigned too hard!

Now that Graham Ford has refused the TV channels will have a field day and discuss this issue to shreds. They will again pose non-sensical questions like why the hell can't we get an Indian? You know what for once I agree with the argument; get a darn Indian and not just any Indian get someone whose heart bleeds for Indian cricket, someone who wears his patriotism on his sleeves, someone who won't sleep till Indian cricket reaches the dizzying heights it promises to scale. Get Mohinder Amarnath, Lalchand Rajput or Javagal Srinath or Parthiv Patel! Let this guy come and conquer all. If he's successful then great and if he fails greater still for this stupid debate will get over. Jimmy Amarnath keeps crying that he's never considered so give him what he wants and let him prove whatever the hell he wants to prove! Recall Anshuman Gaikewad at least viewers will not have to listen to his expert views on TV channels; get Madan Lal for as it is he can't speak and for once he'll get a chance to let his actions speak or request Ajit Wadekar to take up the reins again for at least he'll not say 'foreigners' reduced us to a laughing stock.

If everything fails get Sunny Gavaskar. After all he refused many people for they weren’t right for the job. The fact that Whatmore was ready to accept the challenge and perhaps make Sunny eat humble pie didn’t go down too well with the Master. Get Gavaskar and pay him so much money that he can't refuse. But we all know that Mr. Gavaskar won't do it for he'll have to let go of his favorite past time- complaining. And of course, if you ever say this in front of him he'll either explain how he has the sole right to speak about this issue for he has given the country so much yada yada yada or he'll ask you to prove your credentials. He has a strange way of dealing with issues- he walks out of the ground if the umpire goes against him, he makes sure you are fired if you don't toe the line, he'll ensure you are not hired if you speak too much or too little! All this sounds very familiar to me....for it seems like India's second greatest cricketer (the first being Kapil Dev according to Wisden and not me!) is behaving like me when I'm pissed off at some thing.

And if that is really the case then you ain't seen nothing yet!