Young India

With the elections around the corner you'd be hearing a lot of mindless talk about how India is getting younger with each passing day and the likes.

Here's how I realized India is getting younger...and no it's got nothing to with young turks in Parliament and old men becoming younger and young India needing older leaders and an old India in urgent need of young visionary leaders.... 

A few elections ago a certain Jayalalitha held the ace now it's Mayawati who might swing the fate of this nation. From Amma to Bhenji...of course this country is getting younger.

Help me find more signs of reverse age....throw up your ideas please. It's an election after all!!

Maya Jaal

As the air of uncertainty looms large, the winds of change are bound to throw up a few surprises. All this talk about Mayawati emerging as a Prime Ministerial candidate is evoking varied reaction from people around me.

The chain of reactions is shockingly similar to the one that follows a disastrous relationship. First you don't believe that such a thing could be a possibility let all asking how did it happen! Welcome to the state of denial. Once the initial shock settles down you tend to think that maybe it's not really happening and that your over-imaginative mind is just up to some trickery. This is a situation where you question what transpired. A few days into questioning when you see things changing you start believing that it's has really happened. This is stage where in acceptance sets in and the matter of moving on is just the thing that is around the corner. Once you start to move on then you start looking at other options and actually start thinking that this could be a good thing that happened. A few days into it and trust me it'll the best darn thing anyone could think of!

So what’s the problem with Mayawati being an option for PM? Of course, the resident geniuses of CNN-IBN might think this is fashion harakiri but the power of Bhenji will even strike out blogs that remotely suggest so! If we could reason with our brains and accept Mr. Gowda as a PM then what the hell is wrong with Madam Mayawati? Agreed that Gowda went berserk once he became the PM and Mayawati is already past berserk, what is the real problem with her as our next Prime Minister? Accept the fact that the assets she has amassed, of which the CBI is clueless, would further grow, she would continue to spend millions on her birthday parties, it might rain Ambedkar statues and officials of the central government irrespective of the portfolios might be transferred overnight, what could really go wrong?

Look at it this way. She has presumably done everything wrong that anyone can think of…once she becomes a resident of 7 Race Course Road perhaps she might just turn a new leaf. Or better still she would continue whatever-the-hell-she-is-doing-now and allow the people a free hand to work a la Lalu Prasad Yadav and the Great Indian Railway. And if the Great Indian Left (Behind) continues to support her, they better not mess around with this Madam for she ain't Mama Roma. I know it’s too much to leave to chance but the way things are going this could be the only chance we have.

As it is we, the poor hapless people of India, rarely have a choice in the ministers or the government we get. I mean we have a PM who has never fought an election in his life; the most vocal Sitaram Yechury threatens to go to the people for mandate whereas in reality the only contest the idiot ever stood for was a college election! People like Chandrababu Naidu might have wooed the Clintons and the F1 head honchos when it came to Andhra Pradesh but has no qualms of buttering his toast with brand Maya. The bloke of the TRS will sleep with the Devil if he promises to crave out the state of Telengana from Andhra Pradesh.

Let’s be happy that things aren’t really as bad as they could have been. Imagine choosing between a Mayawati and Narendra Modi!!! As of now we all are just like the father of the 20 something gal who says Charles ‘Bikini Killer’ Shobraj is just her kind of man…let’s pray that she never slips into a bikini.

Image courtesy: www.tribueindia.com

Double Murder, Million Deaths

There seems to be a certain sense of callousness that shrouds most of us when it comes to what is happening around us. Why is it so? Were our parents the same in their youth when it came to reacting to what was unfolding around them?

The fact that this country is going to the dogs and bad ones is not an unhidden fact. I feel that many of us are not looking for short term gratification and forgetting about the bigger picture. I might sound a wee bit off for what I’m about to express but that’s how I feel about it. This whole Arushi murder case is nothing but simply the dumbest thing I have ever come across in my life.

Wait.

I always thought that nothing could dislodge the Communists and just about everything they do from the top slot but it’s nice to be surprised every now and then.

Coming back to the double murder that rocked the nation for almost two months now, I can’t help but feel disenchantment regarding everything about it. First and foremost the NOIDA police really bungled up the case. Then came the trial at the hands of the glorious fourth estate. Cafes, schools, hair saloons, airport, traffic intersections, crowded public transport and just about everything in between were subjected to analysis by everyone. TV channels went to town making the parents look like psychopaths while the police tarnished the slain teenagers reputation. Enter the servant. Enter the servant’s friends. That was reason enough for NOIDA police to round up every Nepali domestic help.

Now fifty days later the CBI, who took over the case, have let Papa Talwar walk for they confessed to not having enough ‘hard’ material to pin him down. Wow! Fantastic! Someone confessed to something. The poor doctor is so scared that he has no plans of suing the NOIDA police for defamation even though Renuka Chaudhary is crying hoarse. The Minister feels that this would give her party another reason to go against Ms. Mayawati! Even now the press and people alike are sure there is more than what we were witnessed to. There is no doubt that more will come out but in a time when other things aren’t really peachy, does it warrant for a domestic quarrel to make headlines?

I was trying to make sense of the Nuclear deal while the domestic Sherlock Holmes’ and Perry Masons were having a field day. No one was interested in anything else. The media showered too much attention for I believe that many in the business themselves had no idea as to what the darn nuclear deal was all about. In the end I feel that the Talwars, NOIDA police, CBI and the all the usual suspects will congregate and agree on one story! The bigger question remains that most of us are just not interested in the bigger picture. I didn’t follow this murder mystery for the simply reason that I believe that kind of stuff or stories like a bus fell in a ditch killing a wedding party or a couple chopped up the third person in cold blood warrant the attention that they get. The more attention this gets it makes our reasoning impervious to more important issues.

Am I the only one who thinks so?

Will I be labeled heartless for choosing to follow the workings of a dysfunctional government over a father’s alleged character assassination?

Wah Taj!

For the past few days there are reports in the newspapers about an online poll that will decide the new seven wonders of the world. Sunday's Delhi Times had an article that pissed and moaned about the fact that Indians are not voting enough. TheTaj Mahal, India's only 'entry' to the list is currently at the bottom of the list with just a dismal 0.7% votes in favor as opposed to Machu Picchu, Peru (25.5%), The Easter Island Statues, Chile (6.6%), Chichen Itza , Mexico (11.2%), The Statue of Christ Redeemer, Brazil (10.3%). In case you are wondering if this is some Latin American take over bid, other contenders include The Statue of Liberty (3.0%) and The Great Wall of China (3.9%).

The article went on to say that the Tourism Ministry is planning to do their bit to promote Taj (don't know what that means), A.R. Rahman has composed an anthem for the Taj (don't know what it sounds like) and the chairperson of some organization that wants the Taj to get it's due has called for a proactive stance (don't know what that would be). But what I know is that there are a lot of Indians out there and more so in the cyberspace who can ensure a place for the Taj. I guess it's just a matter of time for the last time Indians decided to vote they ensured that Mr. Amitabh Bachchan was declared the superstar of the Millennium!

All these articles crib about Indians not voting enough. Well for one most of us didn't know that we could rewrite history so excuse us for not invading the cyberspace! When we don't vote for trivial things like general elections how come The Times of India thinks we'll line up for such an important poll!? A glance at the list of nominees and you'll know that all the nominations are glaring examples of man's exploitation of another man. The Taj might be the prime example of love and all such happy things but it did come with collateral damage. So in a way we are voting for brutality in the name of whatever. Moreover if you write such an article including the web site's address would make it a little easier for lazy people like me to do something akin to national service! My googling skills notwithstanding, i searched for the net to vote and casted mine. Funny website- you need to sign up and you can't cast one vote. One has to choose his/ her seven wonders.

Whats interesting is that what'd happen if the Taj doesn't make it to the list? The opposition would blame the government and blah, blah, blah! Mahesh Bhatt might comment that we really don't need no western list to tell us that the Taj's a marvel. The PM might open a Taj fund or something for he'll suddenly realize that the darn thingy is falling apart or something like that. Now that Mayawati is back she might hound us to make a wonderful corridor to make up for the loss.

But wonder of wonders, what happens if the Taj manages to make it to the list? Oh nothing...just that the spirit of Indian culture would have prevailed and no one will give a damn after that.

So I urge you in the name of our glorious culture to please vote for Taj at the New Seven Wonders