High Spirits...?

So Mumbai got flooded again. I must have been a fool to think that the last 40 years could be undone in two. The BMC assured the people that 2006 would be different from the deluge of 2005 and perhaps it was a little different- last year everyone I spoke to while it rained in Mumbai told me that it wasn't like 2005.

This year was again different from 2006. It did flood this year and for almost 36 hours life came to a standstill. it was business as usual for everyone- passengers at the airport made new Sudoku records, the school children enjoyed a day off, the BMC officials decided to go fishing, the news channels had a field day asking the same darn questions and offering the same darn solutions- all within the programs air time.

Every time it rains in Mumbai people start imagining the worst. I'm sure that most of the people who experienced that cloudburst of 2005 can never get over the fact that such a thing could actually happen. the fact that Mumbai somehow manages to survive the worst has got nothing to do with the fabled spirit (it does exist, trust me and I love it) but the fact but the fact that no one has the time or the energy to fight it. And oh yeah there's no alternative! The crazy thing about experience is that till it cross the previous high point, it won't bother that much. Unless there is 2005 redux everyone will say it's not as bad. My friend in Mumbai actually told me that at least this time around the water didn't stay for long. I don't know what's worse- the bloody commercial capital of the country drowning every year or people gearing up for the same thing every year?

While we are poised to become a super power and have already started to take small steps that will transform into giant leaps as we go along, the Governor of Maharashtra, HE S.M. Krishna, requested Mumbaikars to evoke the spirit in the moment of crisis. This man is a picture of cool for now he just has to deal with 36 hours of chaos as opposed to the never ending Tamil Nadu-Karnataka Cauvery mess. The CM was on a foreign tour to attract investment and hasn't bothered to comment. His reaction- make mental note to fire PA for not releasing last years left over statements for rains. The Shiv Sena thanked it's stars that it was not in power. They decided to worry about 'a' Marathi Manoos (President Designate Ms. Patil) over the entire Maharashtra. The people, of course were a Darwinian dream come true- decided to be fit by surviving. This time around they were prepared and had inflatable boats ready.

Perhaps the difference this time is that Maximum City had company from the City of Joy. Kolkata is underwater as well. Chennai, of course, doesn't have water while the City of Djinns has no electricity. The Garden City of Bangalore continues to live to die another day. The Twin Cities- Hyderabad and Secundarabad has people falling into open drains during rains and ending up as dead bodies in Hussain Sagar lake. Even if forget the others it's a tough choice- I could be in Mumbai, enjoy the bijli and too much paani or I could be in Delhi and enjoy a passing cloud's misbehavior once a while and pray for bijli.

The more things change, the more they remain the same- the news channels were also fed up with the usual reactions so they decided to show a music video sort of thing with out takes and NG shots of people singing in the rain! Perhaps the Tourism Ministry should decide to make Mumbai the Venice of East now that Taj has been ensured a place in the new seven wonders of the world. This yearly routine of evoking spirits and fighting the 'odds' should be declared a holiday, at least people won't have to wade through chest deep water!

Ah choices!

Image Courtesy: Asia Finance Blog

Oops I Did It Again!

Fame comes at a price but the bigger question is what price glory…!?

Ever since Pratibha Patil’s candidature was announced there seems to be a new worm managing to get out of the can at amazing regularity. First it was the innocuously incorrect statement made by the President designate on the origins of the Purdah system in India. The dust had just about settled on it when she came up with the fact that she speaks to spirits. Some holy baba’s spirit came to her in a woman’s form and communicated with her and blessed her. Well all I could make out of the darn thing was that at least Madame knew to be politically correct, at least she got something right! The spirits had just about set her free when the news that her brother’s involved in some common man’s murder came to become the breaking news on all news channels except India TV who were busy trying to convince a man that the too much of sex can be detrimental.

New shit had hit the proverbial fan and by now the Congress decided that she’s bound to speak her mind so they went in for some tailspin and said that this is an opposition motivated ploy to unearth old skeletons. For they could have told the Lady to keep shut on some issues for she has to speak at certain places-press conferences, etc.- for why else was she chosen in the first place?

click to enlarge

The latest in the list of the old skeletons coming out of the grave like Michael Jackson’s Thriller video is that there’s been some hanky-panky in the cooperative banks that operate under her name. Well what can I say… things are going to be colorful till the 22nd of July. Once she’s snug as a bug in the state bedroom in the Rashtrapati Bhavan everyone will have something else to crib about.

The Congress in the mean time has come out with the most original dumb statement; according to them Patil will speak after the 22nd. OK that’s like what AB Vajpayee said when someone cornered him at a rally and said when will the shortage of power be resolved in India? In between his usual ‘longer than long’ pregnant pauses, ABV at his poetic best mumbled some lines and ended them with “light for everyone by 2012’ ostensibly implying shut the hell up till 2012. That’s what Congress means- she’s the next President people and come July 22nd the only spirits would be the high spirits!

Someone's got it in for me, they're planting stories in the press
Whoever it is I wish they'd cut it out but when they will I can only guess.
They say I shot a man named Gray and took his wife to Italy,
She inherited a million bucks and when she died it came to me.
I can't help it if I'm lucky.

-Bob Dylan
(Idiot Wind)

Image Courtesy: David Malki

Mama Mia!

Now that President APJ Abdul Kalam has decided to ‘gracefully’ let go of a second term in office things should get easier for the others in the race. Pratiba Patil has emerged from nowhere to become the front-runner for the post of President of India. While the media debates and celebrates a woman occupying the highest post in India, I can’t help but wonder where are things headed? Don’t get me wrong I’m all for women and if I could vote for Mrs. Patil, I’d have gladly done so.

This whole tamasha of selecting the President of India has become so strange that it’s not funny. When someone suggested Abdul Kalam’s name five years ago there was a mixed reaction. I, for one, thought that was the stupidest suggestion someone could come up with. I was thinking that has India lost all the ‘statesmen’ who were supposed to get old and become presidents of the largest democracy of the world? Had things changed so much that barring Dr. Karan Singh there wasn’t anyone who at least looked the part?

Over the last 5 years I might have changed my opinion about Kalam and he might have become the first ‘common man’ President of the country but I still think that the criterion for choosing or nominating a President shouldn’t be confused with petty politics. I may not be saying anything new but think about it- Sonia Gandhi clearly knows her game; not only did she get a Maharashtrian married to a Rajashthani, she got a woman. What a masterstroke, for no one worth his or her salt can’t fight that combo and the only person fit to put up a fight was Rocket Man Kalam but he’s not going to do that.

This time around things are a little different. The politicians smartly use the press to fight it out. Just yesterday some one from Maharashtra has claimed that Pratiba Patil’s brother is guilty of killing her husband and that the President designates power has made sure nothing happens to her brother. The government denied the whole thing as a petty attack by the Opposition while they suggested that India is a free country and the Media is doing a good job! Well more such worms will be leaving the can in the next few days but I don’t think anything’s going to spoil the party for Mrs. Patil-Shekhawat.

This Pratiba Patil looks like someone one who knows that in less than a month she’s going to host a party in the Rashtrapati Bhawan. I like people with confidence, who doesn’t? But the smug look with which she’s operating these days, calling on people, etc is testimony of the fact that Sonia Gandhi is really smart and she now has her ‘men’ in both of the highest offices in India.

Mama mia!