Where's the Party?

Things can be so different in places. Some time ago when I was in Bombay I saw and learnt how different cities have different takes on different things. In Delhi it’s all about going out. You can decide what place to meet, what route to take, where to park; once you are at the designated place you can decide what place to sit, what to drink, what not to drink, what to eat and what not to eat. Whilst you do all that there must also be a consensus about what to talk about. I have noticed that it’s usually everyone talking at the same time about the same thing. To an outsider it may seem like people in Delhi always talk about politics or cricket.

This doesn’t happen in Bombay.

A few days ago while I was there I saw the difference. In Bombay people meet people at their homes. If you were to do this in Delhi you’d be sending out a signal that you have grown up. People drop in, have a quick shower, spray generous quantity of deodorant and then pour a drink or two. By now the traffic outside must have died down, which means it’s time to hit the roads. Of course the place to go would be half way across town or 10 kilometers (which in traffic terms means ‘oh god’). Don’t worry by now you are insulated enough to take it on. You take an auto for it’d be faster than a cab and in any case the second half of the journey would translate into a cab. Some times you’d make a pit stop at some booze shop, concoct your poison by mixing carbonated water with what you pick up and return to the cab- you are going to meet friends and have a nice time and not to pay the skies for a drink. Once you have reached the joint which has been carved out of some dilapidated mill it’s imperative that you enjoy. Bombay night outs are not just about ‘having a good time’ or ‘I don’t mind it’, once you put in so much of effort you need to enjoy. Ain’t no 11pm cut off going to stop you here.

You don’t talk much while partying in Bombay. I mean unless you want to talk shop, network what’s the point of talking. And how can someone hear you if the music is loud enough to wake up the dead. So no cricket and no politics. Cricket talk is usually relegated to Sachin Tendulkar, Zaheer Khan or Rohit Sharma. In case you talking IPL and you are in Bombay then the Mumbai Indians are your team. No they are not scared of Raj Thackeray, they just like Tendulkar in any form so he could be playing for Dhobi Ghat XI and what do you, you could be cheering the Dhobis! As for politics...ah let that be. It's the fools in Delhi that run the country and Maharashtra, remember we are here to have a great time!

Once the night’s been called, usually around 2pm, you take some more time to gather your bearings and if you happen to know the band you take about an hour. By now in case you are wondering what’s next life finds a way and the effort to complete the circle are set into motion. Living it up on a Saturday night can’t end on a Sunday morning- it must go on for a little longer. One of the people would suggest innocuously why not drop in at their place. This place would be mid point between where you are and where you want to go. So the word would spread amongst the remaining people that the party’s moving to so and so’s place. Everyone would scurry around the few taxis that are parked outside the place, make plans who’s going in which one with whom. The taxi ride would be…well the wee hours of morning make every place look surreal. By the time you reach the place you realize that perhaps it’d be best to return to the base. Off you go again. By the time you return it’s almost 7 in the AM and you have partied really long. Me being from Delhi and the so called ‘outside’ here realized it was not all that bad. I had a crazy time. I didn’t mind it; in fact I had a good time.

Wait.

This isn’t enough. Someone partied all night to ensure things were great and me going ga ga over a good time. I had a GREAT time. I must say seeing the sun come up had nothing much to do with it.

Silent Guns

Now that the elections dates have been announced this whole tamasha of young ‘turks’ gracing the 14th Lok Sabha will finally rest. Even if Naveen Jindal, Sachin Pilot, Jyotiraditya Scindia, Milind Deora and Rahul Gandhi were to lose their seats, which keeping their track record in mind shouldn’t be the case, they will never be called young guns anymore. Track record, did I say that? Oh sorry it must be their youthful exuberance that might just get their seats back for they really didn’t do anything. Did they? 

It’s no secret that these blokes got where they got thanks to the famous surnames. Agreed that they are educated, can hold a conversation, will make many a reporters (male and female variety) swoon but besides their papa’s names what else have they got to show? In the last five years they were the ones who were poised to take the country to new heights, free us from the evil perils of ageless politicians…well okay they were just supposed to raise a few points every now and then. Oh come on they were just supposed to inspire the youth of this nation to get a little more proactive. Have they succeeded? The proof of the pudding lies in the eating and now as accounts of the last five years are being closed they really don’t have anything to talk about. A recent article in the Economic Times sums up their performance in Lok Sabha and doesn’t give them high marks. 

Do we have a problem with them gracing the page three parties more than center page or front page? Do we feel like they haven’t done anything worthwhile besides being mute spectators? Is it that they couldn’t do anything or they weren’t allowed to do anything? If one looks back at what happened in the last twelve months, leave alone the other four years of the government’s tenure, none of these so called young guns fired. Take the Mangalore pub attack; none of them said anything, no reactions. They are fine with the idea of pubbing themselves as it’s a ‘normal’ thing to do and by god they are normal aren’t they but when it comes to making a statement they just refuse to speak up. Let’s take the overnight sacking of the Jet employees. Nothing. The only time one of them said something was in the aftermath of the 26/11 Bombay attacks. There too Mr. Rahul Gandhi quoted the obvious to death. Well I don’t blame him. Considering that that his sister was watching the proceedings from the gallery and he had to retort to rhetoric of the attack being aimed at every Indian and not just the unlucky few who were in the direct line of fire. 

Do we really place too much emphasis on the youth? A Barack Obama is just forty-eight and so he can get a fresh perspective. If that be the stupid assumption then Gandhi (38), Jindal (38), Scindia (37), Deora (33) and Pilot (32) should be the solution to all our problems. Wait they are just the Congress...hmm…and mummy Sonia doesn’t let them talk unless they are talking about Rajiv Gandhi or the party. Ok what’s the way out? Obama used the internet and the gen-next and after that’s tools to galvanize an entire people. These guys use PDA’s and mobiles to text where to meet in the evening or fwd messages that mock Raj Thackeray. The Economic Times got all these MP’s to be the guest editors for a day; see for your self what these guys think of the nation. These guys do believe in their ideas and they have their facts right….but some times getting the facts and numbers correct seems enough.

Trying the young isn’t enough….the young didn’t try enough. 

Attacked!

The whole Mumbai crisis made me think that while we are still thinking the usual and routine, people around the world are thinking on totally different lines. There are bunch of people who came to Bombay using the vast unchecked passages of the coastline, dock at Colaba, take out arms and ammunition, go around spraying bullets all over public places like Café Leopold, Hospitals and busy intersections, they check into our hotels as guests, some even start working there, they study, they prepare and they strike.

Why are we paying the National Security Adviser? Why is that M.K. Narayanan guy playing stupid when he could play normal? The Home Minister, god bless his tailor, actually is stupid enough to divulge security measure and the National Security Guards’ plan on live television! Rumor has it that the government was looking around for an airplane to send the commandos at 1 in the morning!!! Isn’t it a little stupid that even after so many attacks the NSG don’t have a presence in Mumbai or Chennai or the East Coast? I fail to believe how these people think? Imagine a hostage situation in say Connaught Place. The NSG are based out of Manesar, some 30 kms from Gurgaon- it would take them as much time to reach CP as much they took to reach Mumbai. Are the daredevil stunts that we see only limited to Republic Day Parades?

And what are the ‘elected’ public representatives doing while all this happened? They were ‘magnanimous’ enough to momentarily let go of thinking about personal mud slinging. They said that it’s a national crisis and we should all transcend the partisan lines but you could see that they were salivating to start politicizing the whole thing. They will wait for three or four days before letting the dogs of war lose!

The funny thing is that terror strikes one corner of Mumbai and they call it a national crisis but when the goons like Mr. Raj Thackeray unleash their terror it’s called a state issue. No one has the guts to call Mr. Thackeray’s bluff which operates on the same lines. All the celebrities whose hearts bled when the mayhem at Mumbai was targeting innocent lives do nothing when the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena bashes people up for no real reason.

I was glued to the television for a better part of the last three nights. From two people feared dead I followed every little development till we lost a hundred and fifty of them....The bizarre thing is that the whole thing looked so surreal that I'm already starting to imagine that it didn't happen...that's public memory for you and the people in power pray for such a short lived memory. Perhaps the shattered mirror at Leopold shouldn't be fixed, some part of Taj should remind us of what unfolded there lest all of us get too involved in the next crisis.

Is there any real difference between Mr. Raj Thackeraj and the nameless terrorists who were killing people at random? The Maharashtra government is always trying to get one up with the opposition to ensure their return when the next elections call upon. The Congress-NCP combine’s idea of safety is rather bizarre. They believed that installing a grandiose statue of Shivaji in the middle of the sea would put an end to such infiltration! And you dare not question that for your house will be attacked! The money that they would spend there could have been put to better use. If not the money then time, the most readily available asset in India, could have better utilized. Apparently the report on coastal security in the wake of 1993 blasts is still resting on the official table after some 15 years. Imagine how time has been wasted- some kid born in the aftermath the blasts is almost ready to vote. Oh correct that he/ she would rather be ready to sip some beer!

These SMS jokes lampooning Raj Thackeray or evoking patriotism are all fine but there is a greater challenge. One needs to accept some truths in order to amend some realities. I was around Uphaar when the damn thing caught fire, as a matter of fact I was supposed to watch the first show of Border; I was around GK-I M block market a few minutes before the bomb exploded but this time around I’m actually a little worried. I know they will tell us that every time we are scared the terror mongers have won…but isn’t that the way it is….aren’t they on a winning spree?

United Colors of Rajdeep Sardesai

Every time Mr. Raj Thackeray does something news worthy I think of Rajdeep Sardesai. I don't know the connect but somehow I end up thinking what'd the so-called intellectuals feel of Mr. Thackeray's Big Brother kind of attitude?

Few weeks ago when the whole North-Marathi thing flared up Rajdeep Sardesai never really said anything about the whole fiasco. Agreed that he wrote something in his weekly(?) column in Hindustan Times about how the history of Shiv Sena and MNS and Thackeray Sr. and Thackeray Jn. but he never really took a stand when it came to his news channel. I wasn't really surprised by his refusal to take a stand on any issue. This is a guy who, reportedly, left NDTV when he learnt that five people drew a bigger salary than him even though he was the ace after Dr. Pranoy Roy.

Rajdeep Sardesai is a strange fellow. I never thought highly of him but kind of changed my opinion to some extent when he started his own channel (read a previous post here). Why did I do this? Well, initially CNN-IBN tried reporting without really taking sides. There is some difference between taking a stand and taking sides. NDTV's take on Natwar Singh's daughter-in-laws suicide was what made me change my opinion about the way they report. The anchor (I forget her name) was apparently a close friend of the woman who died and this propelled her to cry on camera in addition to claiming how callous the media gets while reporting. She of course, accused everyone including herself for good effect.

Back to Rajdeep Sardesai and his Frankenstein. He is a smart guy. So smart that he can write a 2000 word article and yet refrain from making a point leave alone any sense. In case you don't believe me, read his take on 20-20 cricket and you'd know! I always wondered why did he never take a real stand on the whole Raj Thackeray thing...? Finally I got my answer when I saw CNN-IBN beaming a grinning Rajdeep Sardesai informing me that the world is change and so is Maharashtra. He did this in Marathi. This was a promo for his new Marathi news channel.

Eureka moment!

Now we know why he didn't really really have an opinion on Bhaiya Bashing in Mumbai. He didn't want MNS to come a calling! There is a bright side too. He might actually get a reticent Raj Thackeray to finally confess why he thinks that it's a great idea to pack north Indians out of Mumbai. The only hitch is that now that Rajdeep Sardesai promises to live up to his Marathiness and make IBN-Lokmat a stupendous success....what happens to the people who think of his as a Gujarati?

Confused?

Don't be. He wrote this while nursing his heart that was bleeding for Goa, 'Let me also debunk another stereotype: the ‘desai’ in my surname often leads people to presume I am Gujarati. The fact is that my father was a Goan, and I am proud to be one too.'

Next stop IBN-Susegado (Konkani which means take it easy)!

A Band Apart

Mr. Raj Thackeray has had it with the influx of north Indians in Mumbai. So what does he do- sends his 'army' to thrash the bejesus out of anyone who isn't a Marathi manus. I read my friend's rather interesting take on the whole 'outsider' issue and thought of expressing mine as well.

An outsider is, according, to me someone who does what locals do and extracts more fun out of it! A few days ago I was stuck in a traffic jam and like most things in life I have made my peace with chaos in the name of 6-lane roads; people around me (locals) believed otherwise and were tearing their hair apart. In the middle of all this was a firang, stuck like the rest of us in the traffic jam but she was smiling and clicking picture on her digital camera!

Ask any army brat what being an outsider means! We had to shift every three-four years and strangely we never lamented the loss of a friend or not being able to continue being in love. As a matter of fact most Army kids love the idea of shifting and posting so much so that if I don't do something drastic every three years I feel something's amiss; earlier a haircut would do the trick but not anymore.

The whole concept of Bombay was based on essence of cosmopolite. The bygoners considered it to be an equivalent of Lahore, which was considered an eastern equivalent of Venice, and people from all over helped it get its identity. In the 1960's when Mr. Bal Thackeray didn't like the south Indians taking up the jobs meant for the locals and now when his nephew's taking the next step, suggest that is Mumbai's 'identity' under siege?

The people who made Bombay into what it once stood for were, no offence meant, not really locals. They have become locals by the virtue of their actions and feel great affinity towards the metropolis so I really don't think the old locals should mind the new locals who were accepted by the older locals.

Historically, and history here means more than 60-100 years old and not the mid 1990's, Bombay was never considered Maharashtrian enough; even the thoroughbred Maratha rulers never had Bombay as their capital. Bombay became truly Maharashtra only when it became the capital and we all know the 3-grade logic applied for it to become the capital of Maharashtra and not an autonomous city-state as many deemed fit.

I think Mee Mumbaikar should be We Mumbaikar. Make the outsiders Mumbaikars and see the change. When people will have one issue less to fight, then they might just end up doing some work. I offer a solution to all this- all 'outsider' should start sporting a Hitler like moustache and Mr. Raj Thackeray might not abhor them anymore for the young leader admires Hitler and would love to see resembling acolytes walking the pothole laden streets of Mumbai.

I wonder if a little of Bihar, UP and Delhi can cause such a reaction, imagine what'd happen if Mumbai actually becomes Shanghai...

Please read Sudhesh's interesting tirade on the whole issue @ dilli silly