The question we’re asking today…

Are television debates any good?

I keep wondering about the answer as I endlessly news channel surf everyday. I must confess that I’m a TV news channel freak and there’s nothing else that can get me hooked on to TV. But off lately I can’t help but think that perhaps a ‘serious’ prime time TV news debate is more idiotic than nothing being peddled as breaking news! I mean breaking news can end but a debate can be centered on anything. How many of us can recall the breaking news where Aaj Tak showed a car that, well…drove itself!?

What purpose does a news debate actually serve?

With the Naxals or Maoists or whatever they are being called now days making life hell for just about everyone the news channels are having a field day yakking about them. The other day I actually saw some ‘social activist’ of a lady whose name escapes me (and no it ain’t Arundhati Roy and no I’m wouldn’t shy away from naming her) smiled condescendingly when called a Naxal sympathizer. Arnab Goswami did point out that she doesn’t like being called that but her smile was too flagrant to be avoided. Now all this woman did was talk about the ‘genocidal’ attitude of the Indian ‘state’ and how the actions of Naxals, no matter how bad, couldn’t be compared to the nefarious ones indulged by the law of the land. For two hours across multiple screens everyone who had a tongue spoke some non-sense or the other and in the end a SMS poll informed me that all iz well.

Some times I wonder that such debates are just like the arguments I used to have with my ex-girlfriend. As our relationship was dying we would fight on things that actually didn’t make a lot of sense. She would say some thing totally opposing to what I had said and that was enough to trigger off an argument. We would meet at a point in the evening when she would get free, which may I add could be any time between 8 in the pm to 11 in the pm, and where she would get free, which may I add would be anywhere in the NCR covering a radius of 20 kms, and just start arguing. But the point that I’m trying to make is that we knew, at least I did, that we just had that 45 minutes to an hour long window and no matter what the issue it had to be resolved by the time I dropped her home.

I know you find this analogy extremely asinine but trust me I’m going some where with this theory.

So back to the argument. We would bicker; call names, huff (that would be me) and puff (which would be her as I had quit smoking) all inside the car. But the moment I took the final turn towards the destination things would change. A short period of silence followed till it was broken by a thoughtful sigh and finally one of us would say something filmy like ‘what’s happened to us…’ and then depending on who said that the other would say some thing equally stupid like ‘yeah’. And that was that. We would run out of time to argue so we would resolve the matter. Simply because the same intensity couldn’t be achieved the next time we argued. Did it work?

Of course not!

And that’s the point I was trying to make. Much like my car ride television debates try to get ‘solutions’ to ‘problems’ that have been persisting for decades in a matter of hours. Is it possible? The stupid thing about these debates is that no one takes them seriously. The usual suspects who throng from studio to studio and channel to channel have become so used to these put on debates that they could do this in their sleep. Once I saw Farooq Abdullah ‘live’ on three channels at the same time arguing with same person from the opposition! Hardly any surprise that everything looks the same on these channels, so much so that the guests even end up calling Rajdeep Sardesai ‘Arnab’ and Arnab Goswami is hurriedly addressed as Rajdeep.

No wonder serious debates don’t exist and hardly surprising that these jokers don’t want to debate in the Parliament anymore. It’s a lot like playing for IPL and playing for the country. Why argue in Parliament when you can do that from the comfort of your own home and, in some cases, get paid an appearance fee as well?

Ever wondered why politicians outlive most of us?

You think they have the power to do anything else once they are done ‘arguing’ for the day!?

United Colors of Rajdeep Sardesai

Every time Mr. Raj Thackeray does something news worthy I think of Rajdeep Sardesai. I don't know the connect but somehow I end up thinking what'd the so-called intellectuals feel of Mr. Thackeray's Big Brother kind of attitude?

Few weeks ago when the whole North-Marathi thing flared up Rajdeep Sardesai never really said anything about the whole fiasco. Agreed that he wrote something in his weekly(?) column in Hindustan Times about how the history of Shiv Sena and MNS and Thackeray Sr. and Thackeray Jn. but he never really took a stand when it came to his news channel. I wasn't really surprised by his refusal to take a stand on any issue. This is a guy who, reportedly, left NDTV when he learnt that five people drew a bigger salary than him even though he was the ace after Dr. Pranoy Roy.

Rajdeep Sardesai is a strange fellow. I never thought highly of him but kind of changed my opinion to some extent when he started his own channel (read a previous post here). Why did I do this? Well, initially CNN-IBN tried reporting without really taking sides. There is some difference between taking a stand and taking sides. NDTV's take on Natwar Singh's daughter-in-laws suicide was what made me change my opinion about the way they report. The anchor (I forget her name) was apparently a close friend of the woman who died and this propelled her to cry on camera in addition to claiming how callous the media gets while reporting. She of course, accused everyone including herself for good effect.

Back to Rajdeep Sardesai and his Frankenstein. He is a smart guy. So smart that he can write a 2000 word article and yet refrain from making a point leave alone any sense. In case you don't believe me, read his take on 20-20 cricket and you'd know! I always wondered why did he never take a real stand on the whole Raj Thackeray thing...? Finally I got my answer when I saw CNN-IBN beaming a grinning Rajdeep Sardesai informing me that the world is change and so is Maharashtra. He did this in Marathi. This was a promo for his new Marathi news channel.

Eureka moment!

Now we know why he didn't really really have an opinion on Bhaiya Bashing in Mumbai. He didn't want MNS to come a calling! There is a bright side too. He might actually get a reticent Raj Thackeray to finally confess why he thinks that it's a great idea to pack north Indians out of Mumbai. The only hitch is that now that Rajdeep Sardesai promises to live up to his Marathiness and make IBN-Lokmat a stupendous success....what happens to the people who think of his as a Gujarati?

Confused?

Don't be. He wrote this while nursing his heart that was bleeding for Goa, 'Let me also debunk another stereotype: the ‘desai’ in my surname often leads people to presume I am Gujarati. The fact is that my father was a Goan, and I am proud to be one too.'

Next stop IBN-Susegado (Konkani which means take it easy)!

White Noise

My resident psychologist, Groucho Marx is of the opinion that television is very educating for every time someone turns it on he’d go to the other room and read a book.

I couldn't agree with him more.

In addition to my radio blues, my TV was out of action for almost two weeks.

Life seemed nice for the two weeks my television was dead; I surfed the Internet more than ever before in addition to almost finishing ICon, the biography of Steve Jobs. But the best thing was, not having to mindlessly surf channels in the pursuit of something half way decent. These days I consider the news channels to be most entertaining.

News is real entertainment for where else can you watch Raju Srivastav's mindless stand up comedy on two channels simultaneously- Star News and Aaj Tak. The dude has his own show on Aaj Tak! Makes me wonder what ever happened to the Sabse Tez channel? Maybe they realized the they were a tad too fast and if they had to continue, they'd have ended up making up news; which they do most of the times- remember the driverless car story in December 2006! Most film channels have taken it upon themselves to recover money for the producers of films like Nayak, Aamdani Athani Kharcha Rupaiya and Lakeer by repeating them week after week either as 'Friday Fury' 'Sunday Mega Movie' or 'Tea Time Treat'!

My mother finally called the Samsung guys to fix the darn machine. The back panel of the TV was unscrewed to reveal five years worth of dirt giving stiff competition to the dirt on TV channels! Tata Sky threatens to make my life jhinga la-la once again!

But did I miss anything while the TV was comatose?

Not really.

After senselessly surfing the only thing that caught my attention were those teleshopping network advertisements featuring a pipe-puffing Sherlock Holmes look alike who insists that English ain’t a language but a lifestyle and convinced me that my lifestyle sucked!

After fifteen days of no TV what do I see when I finally get on- CNN-IBN's promo departments crowing glory proclaiming that they were the only guys who got it right when their exit polls predicted that Mayawati's BSP would sweep the Uttar Pradesh elections. Dream on dudes! You guys were way off the mark on every other prediction and one mistake being turned into a marketing gimmick ain't impressing me.

I like CNN-IBN; I couldn't stand Rajdeep Sardesai till he was with NDTV, why’d I see someone trying to Prannoy Roy when I can see the real McCoy!? But once Rajdeep Sardesai left NDTV and became his own man I started liking his style. When I see him now, I kind of believe what he says to be the ‘news!’ But that advertisement was a little too much to take. Actually with a slogan like theirs, "Whatever It Takes" (freak predictions coming true included!) nothing surprises me anymore.

All hail Bruce Springsteen, the prophet!

Man came by to hook up my cable TV
We settled in for the night my baby and me
We switched 'round and 'round 'til half-past dawn
There was fifty-seven channels and nothin' on…