Midday's Children

I’m definitely pass the quarter life crisis and maybe it’s a little soon for midlife ranting. Yet every time I get out of the confines of my cocooned life there is a certain sense of anger that can’t help but hit me. Why is it that I feel this way? More importantly who the hell is responsible for it? I have come to realize that it’s the midday’s children. Sixty years since the tryst with destiny we may have come a full circle.

 

Look around and you’d see what I suggest. An entire generation of strange Indians has come into the forefront. Of course such people were always there but the sheer number scares me. Who are these people? This is a generation that will take us into the next whatever-it-is-that is touted as the next big thing. They are the one’s who will drive us to where-ever-the-hell-where-that-whatever-it-is-at.

 

Welcome to Gen-Y.

 

These are people who don’t give a darn about anything and yet are socially aware and culturally awake. They don’t mind paying a bribe for it’s a way of life and they question everything. They won’t allow foreign competition to take over and they will leave their mark on the global map. They will make their parents proud, their grandparents prouder and their colleagues jealous. They will chomp on chicken while praising the greens, they will sip Red Bull and confess that there’s no thirst quencher like water! They will worry about the environment while driving a monstrosity called an SUV; they will ponder on global warming while setting the knob on the A/C. They will never stop to question and no answer is good enough for them. They will, rightfully, take the Sri Ram Sene’s of the world to task by logically telling them they can’t stop their freedom of expression and when the Mutaliks of the world use the same asinine logic to get up they will call him a fascist. They outnumber any club, any association ergo they attract new members across social strata and age groups. They are just like us but only more adaptable to the changing times. They can’t argue to win so they transform. They will not co-exist; they will create their own ways of life.

 

In case you think I’m not making any sense, allow me to further illustrate my point. This is a generation that believes that one must overtake from the left. Ahh so now I have your attention. It helps that it’s undivided. Well, well, well…ain’t life fab!? I tried reasoning but you never listened but now that I have touched a nerve it’s nice to see ya agree! These are the people who will put the metal to the paddle it they see on coming traffic. They are the one’s who will try and sneak an inch or two from every possible and mostly impossible angle while waiting for lights to change.

 

My way of dealing with them?

 

Give them everything! They never want anything that they get and if they get all they can get, they will never want. To quote the high priestess of curry culture Meera Syal, they are more like the ones with the Why Factor! They will question everything and don’t bother replying for before they get an answer they are already on with the next one!  

Ram Ram!

Freedom of choice can be a bit of a bloody nuisance for others. I have been trying not to follow the whole Sri Ram Sene/ Pramod Mutalik drama but there is some thing in it that just doesn't allow me to look the other way. This man used to be a RSS trained swaymasevak, who later joined the Bajrang Dal, and topped it off with a little time in the Shiv Sena before floating this Shri Ram Sene. If someone thought that Abrahim Lincoln was ugly and perhaps a beard might swing the ballot in his favor should take one look at Pramod Mutalik. The only thing uglier than the man is his idea of a utopian world.

In a country like India it's only the rich and the powerful and the cricketers who are truly above the law. It's the idea of getting away with just about everything, which is so deeply ingrained in the likes of such, that gives them absolution. People like Mutalik want to be that. They can't stand anything. It’s not that they don’t like the idea of people being equal. They want people to be equal like cows. No one really likes the idea of being equal to the next person. But what separates us from them is that we might take no for an answer every now and then. We don’t go around bashing women up just because they were sipping some cocktail.

What right does the law of the land give Mutalik to get away with such a thing? You try bashing someone chances are you might be coughing up some hard earned money to your lawyer friend to bail ya out. Mutalik was so way out that even the Bajrang Dal washed it's hands off, the BJP disassociated themselves with the freak and Shiv Sena, well…two of three ain't bad. The guy came on TV and said that perhaps his boys went a little too far and he was sorry but he ain't stopping what he thinks is the drive to save our culture and more importantly our mothers and sisters and daughters. Whoever has his goat please return! While that might take some time, the English news media could get its act together. Someone please tell Sagarika Ghosh to stop shouting her lungs out and stop asking stupid questions like 'People call you a goon..how do you feel about that..?' to Mutalik on live TV! This is so NDTV let it go Ms. Ghosh. Also Mutalik can't hear reason so no point shouting.

I've tried to think about this joker. I have reasoned in my mind and I have given up. There is no trying to understand freaks like Mutalik. Maybe he isn't the person we are angry with. Maybe it's the so called intelligent people of this nation that are pissing us off. Why is that the baba log of politics Rahul Gandhi, Jyotiraditya Scindia, Sachin Pilot, Naveen Jindal and the likes not doing anything about Muthalik like creatures? Ok they don't have a say in front of Mummy Sonia so doing might be rules out but at least they can say something? Why isn't the media cornering these people and asking them to comment? Or for that matter what is Vijay Mallya afraid of? He is a powerful man and an MP yet he won't comment of this issue...why can't he say that responsible drinking isn't wrong? The fat slob will be OK if women don't go pubbing and men drink their guts out. Of course all the women who he knows can join him on his yacht and partyyyy!

BS Yediyurappa joins the chorus and says that he won't allow pub culture. Thanks for accepting a lame thing like pubbing a culture. Thanks for equating a few pints with a cultural superpower like India. This just shows how nuts these people are. Ashok Gehlot won't mind gracing some function in Jaipur that will showcase Krishna-Radha raasleela but would not like the idea of boy and girl going out together. What are we some people from Central Schools in the 1980's where girls and boys will be treated separately as cattle!

Why no human chain this time?

Why no lighting candles this time?

What's the difference between cross border sponsored terrorism and such hooliganism?

Aren't these women important?

Or they didn't order your kind of drink so you don't 'feel' the pain? This will happen again. The next target Bangaluroooo or whatever the hell they call it, then it will be Hyderabad, then Chennai, and then maybe it will become a 'problem'.

My fear isn't that Mutalik will take over; he is too small a thing to worry about now. My fear is that the powers be will let him be and he might become a big pest like Bajrang Dal in ten years. And this could very well happen...you know why? We will be busy trying to get Chandrayan on moon, meeting a 9. something economic growth, questioning weather Saurav Ganguly was forced into retirement by the selectors, if Mr. Bachchan has lost his mind, isn't Rahul Gandhi the same age as his pa when he became the PM, Sunil Bharti Mittal trying to ask Narendra Modi about his charm, shouldn't LK Advani now give up, wasn't it a great thing to make Chidambaram the Home Minister, isn't Woody Woodpecker better than Bugs Bunny, what download speed do you get...

It is done.

The Talibanisation of India is finally taking shape. Could you have asked for more? Even Muthalik, rhymes precariously well with Mutawakel, the erstwhile Taliban's Foreign Minister!