Need Is An Ugly Word

It’s almost like a basic truth of life. Everyone knows this. Men still act surprised every time it is discussed.

What am I talking about?

Shoes, chubby am talking about them shoes. And not just any pair of shoes, I’m talking about a fine pair of ladies shoes. I was talking to some of my women friends and most of them love shoes. I know what that means for I am crazy about shoes. My mother recalls the time when we went shoe hunting for yours truly back in old days and she dreaded every minute of the exercise. A pair would last a year and half on me in the good old days. Those days are long gone. Now I usually pick up shoes once in eight months and am almost like Einstein. The genius had five sets of the same combination of clothes he wore; saved time he claimed. I check out shoes every time I am in a mall; I walk into a shoe shop and try some pair knowing very well that I ain’t picking up any. So much so that my former girlfriend was convinced that I had a shoe fetish.

The real deal with shoes is how many pairs do you really need?

I can see your expression changing and especially ladies, I know that is a dumb question to ask. The moment you say how much is too much the name Imelda Marcos occupies the billboard of my mind. The lady had hundreds of pairs and I’m sure that no one knows the exact number. It’s funny that you can calculate the distance to sun and the number of years India will take to become the biggest economy in the world and how many clicks the poster boy for Axe deo gets but putting a figure on the number of shoes a woman craves is impossible.

A recent survey or study (I’m getting confused anyway) claims that 19 is the secret number. So I decided to put this info to use. I called up some of the women I know. M promptly came up with the figure 23. In addition she said that she finds a forgotten pair every time she opens her closet. For M all her skeletons are out there in any case! L didn’t put a number at first but finally came up with 6, at best 7 thought she ain’t sure. P wanted to know if I meant all the pairs or just the ones she uses on a regular basis but nevertheless came up a figure that seemed conservative to her 13. S explained that shoes are never enough and as of now her shoe count is 25. But the best was A who, when asked, went from ‘not many’ to ‘I don’t know’ to ‘lemme think’ to ‘5’ then ‘6’ then ‘7’ and finally ‘8’ but ended up saying ‘I think I need new shoes!’ P was surprised at the randomness of my question and she was worried that she'd have to count; she did come up with 20 but a few moments later said that she wears only 4 on a regular basis.

There are some who have innovative ways of dealing with this craving for shoes. S has convinced his wife A to give up a pair for every new pair she picks up! This way A is supposed to keep the number in check. I think every time a woman looks at a proud pair she possesses she thinks of all the shoes that she must have rejected for the one she holds in her hand.

Feeling Blue

Of late I’m convinced that newspapers, television news channels and the ilk are nothing more than spaces that can be bought to advertise non-sense.

Yesterday's papers claimed that somewhere someone had done some research and came up with this great theory that blue-eyed people are more successful than others. They didn't say that blue eyed people have more chances of being successful but they were pretty sure and go on to add that brown-eyed people had faster reaction time, but those with lighter eyes appeared to be better strategic thinkers. This tall claim is not substantiated with any real data for Joanna Rowe, who conducted the tests says, "There’s no scientific answer yet and it's just observed, rather than explained."

Blue eyed people make just 8% of the world's total population and more mover the blue in the eyes is due to low amounts of melanin within the iris stroma and this decreases as the years pass by. So if a blue-eyed person is to make good of this research then they have just so much time before they become the others.

Now isn't it really stupid to conduct tests such as these?

OK not really stupid but definitely unwanted. How's the world going to change or maybe even become a better place if blue-eyed people are more successful? The only two famous and successful people the article mentioned are Stephen Hawking and Marie Curie! So am I to believe that since the world was blessed by these two geniuses no blue-eyed person's obvious success has contributed anything to the world?

Windmills of Your Mind

A new survey claims that if you store any information in your cell phone, you will forget it!

This whole cell phone boom is ensuring that an entire generation of people become bad at memorizing things. Putting details on your cell phone means that you will forget phone numbers and struggle to recall birthdays. I agree that people just don't remember anything anymore but is it that bad? The fact that everyone has a phone these days, all the numbers are on the other side of ten digits and almost everyone I know has two phone, then landlines will surely make it a little difficult to remember details.

How many phone numbers do I remember? OK, let's see ...five...six...ten...hmm not bad.....sixteen...oh hold that's eighteen...yes...of course she has three phone so that makes it twenty one...well I can safely say that I can recall thirty phone numbers off the cuff.

Is that really bad?

I'm of the opinion that bad memory ensures a good life but that can be taken out of context here. I think it's the other details that we are not good at memorizing. Mostly I come across people who need to be reminded about trivial things as landing up for appointments at the scheduled time which as a matter of fact was decided three days ago; I, at times, have to remind people to send some mail or stuff that they have been threatening to do but never get around; some times they do things at the exact time we need them to do but only that they are late by weeks or months. More often than not I remind people to pay up!

I had no clue that I was a victim of this not being able to memorize numbers thingy. A few days ago someone from my bank came to get a couple of forms filled and asked for my land line number. I had no clue what he was asking about.

What did I do?

Scanned my cell phone's contact list. If that wasn't enough, the other day I met an old friend; we go back a long way...almost 24 years. Our fathers were officers in the same regiment. She told me that her father, who had lost touch with mine, wanted my father's cell phone number. She was more than a little surprised when I had to refer to my lifesaving phone book on the cell to fish out my father's phone number.

The funny thing about memory is that the stupid games it plays with you...nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on it's face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind
-Windmills of Your Mind

(Alan, Marilyn Bergman and Michel Legrand)

Talk to Her...

And you thought complimenting a woman was all that it took?

A recent survey has concluded some thing that even a new born baby (boy, of course) knew all the while- 89% loved to complimented every now and then. While this isn't surprising, the survey did throw up some new stats- 67% of women don't like it when someone other than their partner compliments them.

Didn't you just flashback to recall the last time you complimented your woman/partner and made her happy? Good Boy! Now consider this- 65% of women actually believe that there ain't no such thing as an innocent compliment! A brave journalist tried testing the numbers; he randomly started paying compliments to unknown women and most of the weren't too kicked. No wonder men are afraid to compliment freely. I really can't blame them; try complimenting someone when she could just complain and you could be charged with sexual harassment!

This new evidence just makes things tougher for a lot of men I know. Some of them believe that complimenting could be the beginning of a very beautiful friendship. They consider it to be art and usually take it very seriously. Christine Webber, a relationship expert, believes that though it may seem somewhat frivolous, a compliment is in fact a vital ingredient for well-being. The trick, of course, lies in the balance- a compliment should make the receiver feel good about themselves, rather than coming over as smarmy or, worse, a bit lecherous. She recommends 5 daily compliments because they oil the machinery of all relationships: in romance, the family, the workplace.

What is it with women and compliments?

So they like them but would love it more if someone they knew complimented them more often? Wouldn't it make things so much simpler for them if a new crush just decides to drop the C-Bomb? Or is it that they'd like their partners to repeatedly compliment on some thing in particular? Or would they prefer if the partner discovered something new to compliment every day....OK every third day, perhaps. Hey that's a healthy ratio. Or is it that women like to work hard for compliments for otherwise why'd partners, who are notorious for being lackadaisical after a point, go to uncharted terrains to compliment something new? Where does this survey place answers to trick questions (do I look fat in this outfit?) that more often than not pass off as compliments but play otherwise on closer inspection?

The funny thing is that a French Wine company conducted this survey. Damn French! I couldn't figure out what is it with French men and women? Many women say that French really know how to speak to a woman- well if that accent can make something as stupid as what's your name, sound exotic then I'm sure anyone can be charming! The good thing about the survey is that they just asked a 1000 women and that too in UK. High Five, Dude!

The bad thing is that if men can be the 'same' are women the same as well?

Click to enlarge

Image Courtesy: geekculture.com

Most Expensive City

There are two sides to everything. The more things change, the more they remain the same. Even though I plan not use these oft repeated and done to death statements but what can I say...just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in! Thanks to the great strides that our beloved economy's been making, a new perspective to the economy growth has come forth. New Delhi and Bombay have become costlier to live in.

So what's new in that?

According to a recent Mercer's recent survey, the cost of living in New Delhi and Bombay is far more expensive than Lisbon, Boston, Montreal and Washington DC. The fact that Bombay is far more expensive than San Fransisco, Hamburg, Chicago, Melbourne is something that I might not accept but I can safely say that it's not something that I didn't expect. So which is the most expensive city in the world to live in? Surprise, Surprise Moscow. Followed by London, Seoul and Tokyo. Though Indian cities are 52 (Mumbai), 68 (New Delhi), 113 (Chennai) and 134 (Bangalore) it is the pattern that these cities follow that makes for interesting reading. The constant rise in property prices is cited to be the main cause. Bangalore might have steeper property prices but according to the survey Chennai is higher up for it might just climb a few notches for there is going to be a lot of property purchasing in the near future.

We might not have bijli, paani and sadak but we still are world beaters! We might live with pot holes, traffic jams and power cuts, which I think have no worthy reason of existence, but we'll still be theprefered destination of world business. This survey is considered to be the yardstick when it comes to deciding the pay packages and perks when any big company sends someone overseas so i guess there's reason to celebrate.

Some times these surveys don't make any sense. Remember that one which said that Mumbai is perhaps the rudest city in the world? Most similar surveys till 2005-06 thought that Tokyo was the most expensive city to live and now Moscow...so how does this concern me? Well, it's not the rising property prices that bother me or the thought of relocating to Moscow which I find exciting but simple things that are getting expensive is driving me nuts. Like my cup of coffee; going from 19 rupees to 35 rupees in a matter of a year is what bugs me! It amuses me to end that I'm paying almost double for the same quantity and the same 'I-care-a-damn-for-the-customer' attitude that most service providers proudly display.

image courtesy: Frittle

Wah Taj!

For the past few days there are reports in the newspapers about an online poll that will decide the new seven wonders of the world. Sunday's Delhi Times had an article that pissed and moaned about the fact that Indians are not voting enough. TheTaj Mahal, India's only 'entry' to the list is currently at the bottom of the list with just a dismal 0.7% votes in favor as opposed to Machu Picchu, Peru (25.5%), The Easter Island Statues, Chile (6.6%), Chichen Itza , Mexico (11.2%), The Statue of Christ Redeemer, Brazil (10.3%). In case you are wondering if this is some Latin American take over bid, other contenders include The Statue of Liberty (3.0%) and The Great Wall of China (3.9%).

The article went on to say that the Tourism Ministry is planning to do their bit to promote Taj (don't know what that means), A.R. Rahman has composed an anthem for the Taj (don't know what it sounds like) and the chairperson of some organization that wants the Taj to get it's due has called for a proactive stance (don't know what that would be). But what I know is that there are a lot of Indians out there and more so in the cyberspace who can ensure a place for the Taj. I guess it's just a matter of time for the last time Indians decided to vote they ensured that Mr. Amitabh Bachchan was declared the superstar of the Millennium!

All these articles crib about Indians not voting enough. Well for one most of us didn't know that we could rewrite history so excuse us for not invading the cyberspace! When we don't vote for trivial things like general elections how come The Times of India thinks we'll line up for such an important poll!? A glance at the list of nominees and you'll know that all the nominations are glaring examples of man's exploitation of another man. The Taj might be the prime example of love and all such happy things but it did come with collateral damage. So in a way we are voting for brutality in the name of whatever. Moreover if you write such an article including the web site's address would make it a little easier for lazy people like me to do something akin to national service! My googling skills notwithstanding, i searched for the net to vote and casted mine. Funny website- you need to sign up and you can't cast one vote. One has to choose his/ her seven wonders.

Whats interesting is that what'd happen if the Taj doesn't make it to the list? The opposition would blame the government and blah, blah, blah! Mahesh Bhatt might comment that we really don't need no western list to tell us that the Taj's a marvel. The PM might open a Taj fund or something for he'll suddenly realize that the darn thingy is falling apart or something like that. Now that Mayawati is back she might hound us to make a wonderful corridor to make up for the loss.

But wonder of wonders, what happens if the Taj manages to make it to the list? Oh nothing...just that the spirit of Indian culture would have prevailed and no one will give a damn after that.

So I urge you in the name of our glorious culture to please vote for Taj at the New Seven Wonders

Fear of Flying...?

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly.
- The Donkey (Shrek)

Take the test to find out what kind of a donkey you really are!