Adventures in Shoe Trade

As you’d be aware by now that I have a fascination for shoes. It stops short of an obsession and lingers around the vicinity of becoming a fetish. In one of my previous posts I’d talked about the average number of shoes a woman has; sadly I ain’t a woman and somehow the number game isn’t half as exciting when it comes to men. Happily stuck between a handcrafted leather slip-ons and a funky looking casual shoe, I knew it was time to get me a new pair. I wanted a pair of sneakers as I thought it’s be nice to stand in them while out in the Garhwal hills. There is nothing more comfortable thing known to human feet other than a well fitting sneaker

The last pair of sneakers I possessed was Reebok running shoes. I wanted a pair of Nike’s but Rahul Dravid convincing smile on a huge Reebok billboard shooed away any competition. The darn pair lasted all sorts of abuse and torture for almost three years. Since then I haven’t come across a decent looking pair. Almost four autumns since the last one died, I went sneaker shopping again.

After trying about three pairs it was love all over again when Reebok discovered me like a long lost beau. These were DMX Rainwaker 5, water-proof and the works. They were, for some strange reason, labeled ‘Walking’ shoes and that’s what I intended to do in the hills while working on the documentary. I checked into the shoes and they were comfortable like sin. I trotted around and found that they were a lil tight at the toes. Too tight. I was convinced by the salesman that they will ‘open’. Who was I to argue with a sweet looking lad who worked at the shoe counter? Imagine the number of feet he must have married off to the right shoe. Trusting him I ended up picking up the pair.

CUT TO:
Four days later in the hills my toes were revolting. The freakin’ shoe was a size small! Who makes such stupid mistakes in this day and age? I couldn’t stand in the shoes and those were the only pair I carried. On closer inspection I realized that whilst the comfortable DMX padding was teasing my heel and I was busy convincing my toes that it’ll soon be OK, I ended up picking a US pair 9 instead of a UK size 9, my shoe size! And this mistake was worth Rs. 5000/-

BACK IN DELHI:
I decided to change the shoes. Three days of wearing them had rendered them ‘unusable’ and the condition of the shoe was ‘not saleable’. That’s what the salesman’s boss told me. He argued that it was a mistake on my part that I picked up the wrong size. I argued back claiming that when I spoke of the shoe being a little too tight the salesman convinced me that it’d open. I think I burst the salesman’s bubble when I assured him that the darn shoe wasn’t deflowering. He refused to reason and I squabbled at the preposterous notion of being the owner of a shoe that won’t fit and costed me a solid 5K.

A FEW TENSE MINUTES LATER:
The manager’s boss was summoned. After faithfully listening to both sides of the tale he came up with a simple test- I would be asked to test my shoe size and if I was in fact a UK size 9, as I claimed to be, he’d change the shoe. This held great importance for I had lost the bill and had already used the shoe. The moment of reckoning came and the people realized that I was as a matter of given a size smaller than the usual. This was a mistake on the part of the salesman who, in spite of being told my size, peddled a wrong one to me for there wasn’t a UK size 9 available that evening (revealed later in the trade-off).

THE NEXT MORNING:
Now things are great and as my fingers romance the keyboard of my laptop, my toes have been successfully seduced by a cushiony DMX model Reebok sneakers. And oh yeah this shoe was made possible thanks to discount coupons from a friend.

Image Courtesy: 28N

Need Is An Ugly Word

It’s almost like a basic truth of life. Everyone knows this. Men still act surprised every time it is discussed.

What am I talking about?

Shoes, chubby am talking about them shoes. And not just any pair of shoes, I’m talking about a fine pair of ladies shoes. I was talking to some of my women friends and most of them love shoes. I know what that means for I am crazy about shoes. My mother recalls the time when we went shoe hunting for yours truly back in old days and she dreaded every minute of the exercise. A pair would last a year and half on me in the good old days. Those days are long gone. Now I usually pick up shoes once in eight months and am almost like Einstein. The genius had five sets of the same combination of clothes he wore; saved time he claimed. I check out shoes every time I am in a mall; I walk into a shoe shop and try some pair knowing very well that I ain’t picking up any. So much so that my former girlfriend was convinced that I had a shoe fetish.

The real deal with shoes is how many pairs do you really need?

I can see your expression changing and especially ladies, I know that is a dumb question to ask. The moment you say how much is too much the name Imelda Marcos occupies the billboard of my mind. The lady had hundreds of pairs and I’m sure that no one knows the exact number. It’s funny that you can calculate the distance to sun and the number of years India will take to become the biggest economy in the world and how many clicks the poster boy for Axe deo gets but putting a figure on the number of shoes a woman craves is impossible.

A recent survey or study (I’m getting confused anyway) claims that 19 is the secret number. So I decided to put this info to use. I called up some of the women I know. M promptly came up with the figure 23. In addition she said that she finds a forgotten pair every time she opens her closet. For M all her skeletons are out there in any case! L didn’t put a number at first but finally came up with 6, at best 7 thought she ain’t sure. P wanted to know if I meant all the pairs or just the ones she uses on a regular basis but nevertheless came up a figure that seemed conservative to her 13. S explained that shoes are never enough and as of now her shoe count is 25. But the best was A who, when asked, went from ‘not many’ to ‘I don’t know’ to ‘lemme think’ to ‘5’ then ‘6’ then ‘7’ and finally ‘8’ but ended up saying ‘I think I need new shoes!’ P was surprised at the randomness of my question and she was worried that she'd have to count; she did come up with 20 but a few moments later said that she wears only 4 on a regular basis.

There are some who have innovative ways of dealing with this craving for shoes. S has convinced his wife A to give up a pair for every new pair she picks up! This way A is supposed to keep the number in check. I think every time a woman looks at a proud pair she possesses she thinks of all the shoes that she must have rejected for the one she holds in her hand.