There are many known advantages of sleeping. A solid eight
hours of it can unleash all sorts of health benefits. Sleep can very
motivational as well; you dream and then wake up to work on them. I rarely
dream and usually my dreams scare the sleep out of me. Irrespective I have
decided to sleep more. I’ll take my chances as it has come to my knowledge that
my sleep is really good for the nation.
Like millions of Indians I woke up to a newer, shinier
India. You see while we were asleep some 5 cr. people were shifted out of
poverty. How the hell did that happen? What the heck did we drink last night? The
Planning Commission of India, an outfit that is extremely good at abusing the
power of statistics, has kept up its good name and gone ahead to do the impossible.
What a million yojanas and sarkari schemes couldn’t manage in
successive terms for this government these guys have done overnight. They seem
to have taken the diktat of their patron saint a little too seriously. No, I’m
not talking about Mama Roma here. She ain’t dead and the living ain’t so
saintly. Decades ago Indira Gandhi came up with the novel idea of eradicating
poverty and these looney tunes who constitute the Planning Commission simply
changed a few numbers to become 5 cr lesser poor.
Click to enlarge
What gives a handful of people in air-conditioned rooms
enough stupidity to come up with a random number that is very specifically
derived from an obscure formula and conclude that Rs. 29 is the new urban cut-off
for poverty? What was the air in their
offices conditioned with? If statistics is the yardstick then did they take
inflation into consideration? If living is more expensive now, then how in
whoever’s name could the cut-off go from Rs. 32, another grossly idiotic claim
made by the same jokers, to the new and improved Rs. 29?
The powers be are usually accused of being insulated from
the real world and such actions confirm that. These new
‘estimates’ believe that Rs. 672.8 per month is good enough to be not poor in a
city like Mumbai or Delhi. Have these babus
and specialists like Mr. Montek Singh never been on the streets of any city of
India? A few years ago Mr. Singh had trouble living one day as a common citizen
of this country. No, it wasn’t the day he came up with the exciting figure that
redefined the poor of this country and enraged everyone from the man on the
road to the Supreme Court. It was the night Mr. Singh visited the Indira Gandhi
International Airport to pick up a few friends. He, like most one of us, was
shocked beyond repair at the inconvenience the then under renovation IGI
Airport was causing the aam nagrik.
That one night qualifies him to be someone who knows what he suggests. By that
token you are blissfully ignorant of the future World Bank Chief standing next to you.
With 5 cr people no longer poor, the government would now
have more money to spend on those who need help. Wait. So, who are they going
to spend on? As it turns out the new magical number excludes
many who actually need a host of centrally sponsored social security schemes
from the line that would enable them to receive them. How long before one government
flunky comes out with yet another startling stat- the government has planned
schemes for those who aren’t born yet as this shift has left a slot vacant
which would be filled by 5 cr who’d enter this world in next 3.23 months to come. And, of course, this heartwarming scheme would be named after the fifth generation Nehru-Gandhi
custodian dedicating his/her life in the selfless service of this nation.
There are a million jokes that define Indira
Gandhi’s gareebi hatao campaign. What
started as a mission with Mama-in-Law is finally getting some color with
Lawless Mama with the 5 Cr. gareeb
hataoed! In the late 1990s it was said that Bill Gates made more money
while he was asleep as that was the time Asia was awake. I never knew sleep
could be so progressive. With millions of us asleep, the government merrily
burns us along with it the midnight oil.
Image- Times of India
0 Responses to “Sleeping on the Job”
Post a Comment