August 23, 2008

Unity in Bombing

The recent serial bombing of Ahmedabad and Bangalore have thrown up many things that need to be looked in with immediate effect. These heinous crimes against humanity have bought suffering to everyone and it’s only a matter of time before India decides to do some thing drastic. After all desperate times call for desperate methods, don’t they?

The investigation agencies are looking deep into the
Indian Mujahideens threat to the leading Muslim actors of Hindi film industry. They can’t comprehend why simple people like actors like Aamir, Shah Rukh, Salman and Saif Ali Khans are perforce being used as pawns in this battle between good and bad. Salman Khan has decided to pay no heed to this threat as he doesn’t consider himself an actor. He believes that he has been accidentally dragged into this list just because he shares his surname with the likes of Aamir ‘The Actor’ Khan and Shah Rukh-I-Might-Ham-But-Have-Eight-Best-Actor-Filmfare-Award-Khan. Mr. Salman Khan was last seen keeping vigil on the streets of Bandra in front of Shah Rukh Khan's ensuring SRK’s safety.

Meanwhile Aamir Khan has taken great offence to this threat and argued that he doesn’t need extra security because he is now Samsung Mobile. He has publicly declared the same as well. Last checked Samsung Mobile was a secular and all religion respecting entity that challenges the limits and is only indicted of being tough on non-users. Anything that casts a threat to secular forces will not be spared by the government and the security agencies are overtly worried because no one including Mr. Aamir Khan know next is what? One can’t be too safe in these times.

SRK has refused to publicly comment on this but in private has been seen hanging out with the likes of Arjun Rampal and Suneil Shetty. Sources close to the star say that this could help him enter the category of wooden performers. This might just end up working as the inverse refuses to happen even though SRK keeps his faith in Arjun Rampal.

These warnings have really cast a shadow of doubts amongst people. At some level a rift of sorts seems to have entered the collective psyche of B-Town denizens. Zayed Khan and Fardeen Khan have not liked the fact they have been kept off the list of the actors who were warned. They both have since decided that a stupid warning will not split the Khandaan in any way.

Saif Ali Khan is the worst off. Just as he was getting cozy with the superstar actor status bestowed upon him, things started getting rough for him. In order to pacify anyone who casts doubts about the fact that Saif Ali can really act has been advised to order DVD’s of Ta Ra Rum Pum and Thoda Pyar, Thoda Magic from the YashRaj website. He had a secret meeting with Akshay Kumar to help the industry ride over this crisis. Saif and Akshay go a long way; they consider each other to the brother they never had.

Upon Saif’s request Akshay Kumar has decided to don the mantle of new King of Bollywood. Akshay has taken his role of being an apostle of peace a little too seriously. His portrayal of Kinng as Singh has announced his arrival in manner which would make all communities happy.

Nothing unites a nation like a tragedy. Ever since the infamy bought upon the nation by Indian Mujahedeen, right wing groups have been bombarded by phone calls by fans of all sizes and shapes. They have demanded that a similar threat be issued to ‘actors’ like Tushar Kapoor, Suneil Shetty, Arjun Rampal, Himesh Reshamiya, Rahul Bose. Here’s hoping that nothing breaks the strong bond we share as Indians. God bless those who feel the pain of their brother…

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